Posted: 26 March 2013
Published: 28 March 2013
It's been a while. I've been a really bad, bad blogger and I think before anything else, I need to tell you guys how sorry I am.
Sometimes life gets in the way of the things you need and/or want to do, and then things spiral out of control to the point where you don't know which way is up, and how you proceed out of the rabbit hole. I am currently sitting in the dark hole, trying to find my way out and my first step is to talk to you, tell you what's going on.
I've been busy - that much is obvious. My life is always busy, what with four mites and all, but these past couple of months have been crazy. After a long wait, we finally moved into our new home. It's been wonderful, hectic, lovely, insane, and just plain awesome. Add on to that the fact that my husband is overseas working and you've got a single mother of four trying to get a new house up to par while tackling these characters in my head who all demand my full attention.
So what does that all mean?
Well, for me it means too much and too little all at once. That spiral I told you about? It leads down. That rabbit hole? It's called depression.
Truth is, I've been depressed for a while. I know what it is, I know what it does, and I know how to help it. Up until my husband left, the depression was manageable without doing anything. Now, though, without that additional support in my work, my mites' lives and activities, and this home, I've fallen into a funk. It sucks. I drag myself out of bed to take them to school. I paint a smile on my face and keep myself busy with things that dont require me to think much: cooking, baking, building things. But at night, when I'm most inclined to write, my brain just quits and I feel my body just groan with emotional exhaustion.
I don't want to smile. I don't want to wake up at five in the morning. I don't want to bake cookies that I won't get to eat because my mites are like the seagulls in Finding Nemo.
I want to scream and cry, throw things, break stuff, possess Fred Durst's body and yell at his reflection for ruining "Behind Blue Eyes".
And I want to write.
I want to respond to the emails you all have been sending me.
I want to finish sending out all of those prizes and gifts that you all have been waiting so patiently for. But up until now, I just...couldn't.
So what's changed?
Well, nothing. I'm just tired of being tired, of being down, of being depressed. I've reached my own breaking point and instead of going further down the hole, I'm blowing it up. Boom, bitches!
So, first things first: I'm writing. I'm writing and I'm writing and I'm writing. What I'm writing isn't making much sense, but it's writing. I've got books to finish, books to start, stories to tell, characters to kill...or help fall in love. Fallon, Liv, Sophia are all waiting patiently in line for their turn. I've also got some new characters wanting to be introduced to the world; especially to you guys! Soon you'll met Claire, Celsia, and others. I hope you're excited!
But, what's an "Oops, I suck - let's make this better!" blog post without some good stuff coming your way besides just more stories?
How about a character naming contest?
What about an entire library of my books?
Kindle? Amazon and B&N gift cards?
All of these are coming and they're all for you!
So, let's start over.
Hi. I'm S.L. Naeole and I'm a writer. Let's be friends.